Sexual union is about much more than the physical orgasm: It is about being completely open to giving and receiving. Many men have closed off their hearts without even realizing it because of the accumulated unconscious fears that they are holding onto.
The following meditation will help you to see and release your fears. It will help you to open up to give and receive love fully. And then you will be able to participate joyously, completely, and with perfect presence in union not only with your own soul but also with your sexual partner and other people with whom you are intimate in your life.
Try doing this meditation in a quiet place where you will not be disturbed. Because you will be focusing on opening the heart chakra, you may want to precede this meditation with some physical hatha yoga postures to open the heart, such as the forward bending exercise given on page 116, or Bow Pose (see Fig. YPS.9, page 129).
When you are ready to begin the meditation, find a comfortable padded surface on the floor where you can lie down on your back and stretch out comfortably. Dim the lights. Make sure that you will not be interrupted for at least 15 to 20 minutes. Unplug your phone or turn the volume down on your answering machine. Let your family members or roommates know that you don't want to be disturbed while you're practicing this meditation. Have a blanket nearby in case your body becomes cool during the relaxation portion of this meditation. Also, have some pillows, cushions, or rolled-up towels to place under the back of your head and/or knees to make you more comfortable.
Assume a comfortable position lying on the floor on your back in Corpse Pose (see Fig. YPS.3, page 122). The backs of your legs are in contact with the floor, your legs spread out about hip-width or a little further apart, your toes pointing away from your body. Your buttocks, back, and the back of your head are all in comfortable contact with the floor. Your arms are spread several inches out from your body, the backs of your arms in contact with the floor, palms opened toward the ceiling.
Take a few deep, complete yogic breaths, filling up your abdomen, chest, and shoulders with each inhalation, and releasing your breath fully with each exhalation. Now, on an inhalation through your nose, tense your body: Make fists of your hands, tense your buttocks and legs, your pectorals, and even your face. Make your face into a prune. Hold your breath, and then exhale through the mouth. Repeat this contraction/relaxation exercise several times. By contracting and tensing your body and then releasing it, you are making yourself even more open and receptive. Feel this abandon in every cell of your body. Surrender yourself to the floor.
Now bring your awareness to your heart center, a point in the middle of your chest at the level of your heart. Feel a small, bright, white light emanating from your heart center. If you have trouble visualizing a white light, then just feel as though your chest is being filled with light. Feel this light growing larger and expanding out to fill up your entire chest cavity.
Now take the time to witness what is present in your heart. Imagine that you are entering a closet that is full of all kinds of things that you've been putting in there during your entire life. Feel what fears and anxieties fill your heart area. Be aware of them. Don't judge them or criticize them. Just be aware of them. Realize that you don't need to hold on to these fears any longer, and let go of them. You don't need them. Say to them, "I acknowledge and bless you, and release you." Be aware of how your heart center feels. Does it feel fuller, more open, and lighter? Now be aware of what good things are being held in your heart closet. Are there positive qualities you've been developing all your life that are contained in your heart? Compassion? Generosity? Respect for other people? Acknowledge the life-affirming qualities of your heart center and bless them. Feel the love that fills your heart center. Let this love radiate out to your entire being so that you become a being of light, radiating love from your heart center, like rays from the sun. Let this love bathe and bless you. This is your true nature. This is your true self. This is your inner being of light.
Take the time to extend this love outward. If you have a partner or mate, allow this energy of love to stream out from your heart to her or him. If you're not in a romantic relationship with anyone at this time, then let this love radiate out to someone whom you feel could use some love right now, perhaps even to the planet itself. Radiate and send this healing love to the object of your intention.
When you've finished radiating out this love, bring your awareness back to your heart center. Take a moment to gently shut the door of your heart closet to protect you, but leave it ever so slightly ajar so that you can continue to radiate your love.
Rest in blissful repose for as long you like. Bask in your true nature.
When you're ready to return to the here and now, gently wiggle your fingers and toes. Stretch your arms and legs, like a child who is awakening. Be aware of how you feel. Gently roll onto your right side, legs bent and knees stacked on one another in fetal position. Rest here for several breaths. When you are ready, gently roll over onto all fours and slowly round up to standing, keeping your knees bent as you round up to protect your lower back.
Meditating on the heart is a very powerful way for a man to awaken to his full being. Practice this meditation as often as you like. See how it changes your life.
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